Things I Only Realized About Robin Hood As An Adult

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Robin Hood was one of my favorite movies growing up. While on a flight recently, I saw it again. Looking back, so much went right over my head when I was younger. In no particular order, here are things I only realized about Robin Hood as an adult.

1. Prince John needed better henchmen

Usurping a throne is hard. That is Prince John’s goal when he gets Richard the Lionheart to go on the crusade. To accomplish it, he needed henchmen of the highest caliber. He didn’t get them.

Some are fake. After Robin Hood escapes a trap Prince John set at an archery tournament, bemused subjects begin singing the “Phony King of England.” You’d expect Prince John’s men to punish them. Instead, when Hiss and the Sheriff think he’s out of earshot, they start singing the lyrics themselves! Perhaps Prince John should have done a better job hiring loyal underlings, which probably isn’t easy when you’re doing such a disloyal thing.

The others are incompetent. None of his guards can shoot well, apparently. They miss point blank shots you’d think any beginning archer can make. Prince John’s efforts were doomed the moment he completed his hiring.

2. It’s an open question whether Robin Hood is a Republican or Democrat

It would be interesting to hear Robin Hood’s thoughts about our politics. A few clues are scattered throughout. When Prince John increased taxes to punish subjects for the humiliation he suffered after failing to capture Robin Hood, Robin snuck into the castle and took them back. Friar Tuck had a priceless line: “praise the Lord, pass the tax rebate.” Surely, Republicans would love a guy who literally risked his life to cut taxes.

But remember that Robin Hood spends his time stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Would a man whose life’s mission is to redistribute wealth really be at home in the Republican Party? Or would he be out protesting with Occupy Wall Street?

3. Prince John could have done so much good

Prince John is constantly scheming and plotting how to take power and keep it. And I have to give it to him, some of his ideas were clever. Sponsoring an archery tournament was a good way to get Robin Hood to show himself. Prince John definitely could have gotten him if only his henchmen had been better.

But I was left with a sense of tragedy. What if Prince John had applied his talent for strategy and planning to better ends? Maybe he could have built a university or libraries throughout the realm. He could’ve been so much more than a Disney villain.